Why cant my 21 lb Grumpy Cat find missing Malaysian Flight MH370, Stop Bridge Scandles or fix eBay?

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I guess twenty first century news is just the National Enquirer of the 20th century. Lately it’s just been stacks upon stacks of either bizarre or the idiotic.

We start out with what i heard on the radio the other day when i was out and about accomplishing tasks.
A 911 call was released about how a family was held hostage, Pet Cemetery-style in their bedroom by a 21 pound Grumpy Cat.
You know what i’m talking about….. that silly looking angry cat that crops up on face book more than an episode of Duck Dynasty or Honey Boo-boo.

Apperently this cat gave the baby a smack for [what i assume] pulling it’s tail or some other annoying thing baby initiated.
Grumpy cat was not having it, and some how rustled the entire family into the bedroom and held them hostage until it’s feline demands were met.

The closeted effimine husband [a X-File on how he procreated] instead of finding an empty laundry basket, blanket, sheet, container of water, poorly designed gaudy IKEA crate or any simple way to detain his pawed captor decided to call 911 in a desperate plea for help. This became national news.

During this time a rather large Jetliner, fully fulled and filled with people with Cellphones and Tablets disappeared as effectively as a Chris Angel stunt and has not been seen or heard from for days now.

Another astounding X-File as great as the guy with the abundant amount of XX Chromosomes, this one is a stunner as well.
In this day and age, having a Jumbo Jet just up and disappear is about as realistic as bi-partisan government.

eBay….. where do i begin….. It is difficult for me not to be biased when speaking about them…. unless it is in a negative light lately, then i can can be point blank. Over the last two years they have really been shafting it to the sellers with sketchy search engine modifications, letting buyers run rampant, pushing the call centers to Syria all to get that stock up another eight of a point.

The other day it was news that John Donahue, in essence took a 50+% pay cut. At the same time, the Spring updates were released with more saddening news [at least for sellers]
The stock dropped two points over the last week. =\

To full circle this…… BRIDGE SCANDAL! Yes, this dead horse is STILL being beaten. if it can last two more weeks, you can legally call it Benghazi!

Grumpy Cat….. Let those suburban hostages go and go find jumbo jet planes, clogged bridges and slumping stock prices!

Grumpy Cat

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